Whose Fault?

Kuna täna läksid meie klassi poisid üle piiri, andis inglise keele õpetaja neile lisatöö, kirjand teemal "Bullying". Miinimum sõnade arv oli 300. Ma tahtsin ka teha, sest mulle meeldib kirjandeid kirjutada ja ma otsustasin, et panen selle siia üles, sest see pani vähemalt minu mõtlema.
The alarm clock rang and I got up.
Another day on this hell.
Another day full of shouting, humiliation, laughing over me…
Another day when I have to hold back my tears.
I put on my black jeans and gray jumper to hide the scars on my arms which are the only way to get rid of being hurt and mad.
Mad of myself and my classmates.
I don’t even know, why am I bullied? Why are everyone against me, every single boy and girl in my class?
___
The bell rang and everyone stood up.
“No one leaves this class until they’ve put the homework on my desk,” shouted Mrs. Stylinson. Everyone put their notebooks on the desk and started to leave. I stared at my things.
The English book and workbook were both there but not my red notebook which was there a minute ago. I checked my bag but I already knew it wasn’t there.
The last students were leaving. Lisa looked at me and grinned rudely. I saw a piece of something red in her bag.
“Lily, why aren’t you leaving? And where’s your homework?” asked Mrs. Stylinson.
“I.. I’ve lost it,” I murmured.
“Again?” She raised her eyebrow. “Dear girl, this isn’t normal anymore. You are always losing your stuff, the other teachers are also complaining about you. What is going on?”
“Nothing… I am really sorry. I’ll give it to you as soon as I find it,”
“Oh, of course you will. But it’ s really starting to get on my nerves,” she shouted. “Now, get out of my class!”
I almost ran out. The tears started to come and run down my cheeks. I wiped them off and put on my coat.
When I got out, my heart skipped a beat.
They were there. Every single one of them was staring me and I walked faster to get home as soon as possible.
Unfortunately I live far from school and almost every day, they are following me and teasing me.
“Hey, Lily!” screamed Josh. “I heard that the exterminator was in your house yesterday. It seems that he didn’t do his job very well - you are still here,”
Everyone laughed. I rolled my eyes and started to walk faster.
“Don’t you dare run away from us!” said Charles.
“By the way, your notebook is here. I bet Mrs. Stylinson didn’t buy all this “I’ve lost my notebook” rubbish anymore, huh?” that was Lisa.
I turned around and looked at her.
“Please give me my notebook,”
“Why should I?” said Lisa and opened it. “Shall we look inside? Oh.. You got a “C” wow.. I got an A+,”
I turned around and walked away. Why are they disturbing me like this? They have ruined my grades. They have ruined my life. What else do they want?
While I wasn’t paying attention at all, they were running at me and now they blocked my way.
“I guess you won’t be needing it anymore?” said Lisa and threw it into a mud puddle. I watched my notebook getting all wet and suddenly, Josh came to me and took my bag.
“Guess you won’ t be needing this piece of shit too?”
And they took all my things out of the bag and threw it into the mud puddle. I just stood there, shocked. I was too afraid to fight back.
They were so busy with ruining my stuff that they didn’t even notice me running away as fast as possible.
When I got home, I was so depressed.
All my stuff is gone.
Why are they doing this?
What have I ever done to them?
I wasn’t even thinking correctly. The anger took advantage and suddenly I found myself locked in the bathroom, looking in the mirror and holding a razor.
What’s the point of living anyway, when you don’t have any friends and every day is like a new challenge to survive? It has gone too far.
Everything was in slow motion. I closed my eyes and took the last breathe.
It’s gonna be fine.
___
The next day:
The first lesson was English.
Laura’s heart was beating. She was absolutely sure that they went too far yesterday. But the others didn’t even notice that Lily was missing.
“Who’s absent today?” asked Mrs. Stylinson with her usual, tired voice.
“Lily and Lena,” said Laura.
Suddenly, there was a knock on the door. The headmaster came in and he said:
“Sorry for interrupting, but I have something very important to tell you,” he looked straight to Mrs. Stylinson´s eyes.
Mr. Haunter and Mrs. Stylinson left the class and everyone started whispering.
“What is it about?”
“I wonder, has it anything to do with us?”
“Why is Lily absent?”
The only person, who was totally quiet, was Laura. She didn’t feel very good.
Suddenly, Mrs. Stylinson came in. Her face was pale white and she looked very serious.
___
A month later…
A month has passed. A whole month of Lily’ s death.
Everything has changed.
Lily’s mother cries herself to sleep. Every night. She had no idea about the bullies and she feels that it´s her fault. She should’ve paid more attention to her daughter.
Lily’s father is now an alcoholic. He can’t believe that his little girl is passed away because of some jerks. He feels guilty. Maybe, if he spent some more time with her, everything would be alright? Maybe his lack of spending time with his daughter was one of the reasons that she killed herself?
Mrs. Stylinson feels bad. She was the one who always yelled at Lily. Why was she so stupid? She saw her class every day. Why didn’t she understand that something was wrong?
Laura, the girl who never did anything to Lily but didn’t stood up for her is now cutting herself. She thinks that it’s her fault. Maybe, if she would’ve been strong enough to be friend with Lily and ignore the others, maybe she would still be alive? Maybe all she needed was a friend, a shoulder to cry on, someone to trust?
The girls who always made fun of Lily’s style and hair are now fighting. Why were they doing this to her?
Because they were jealous.
They should’ve been her friends instead. Why were they so out of control and were just bullying her because of jealousy? Maybe, if they wouldn’t piss her off every day, they would be friends and Lily would be alive?
Josh, the best student in whole class has changed. He skips school and does drugs. Why was he so mean to Lily? She didn’t do anything to him. Why did he follow the others? If he wouldn’t be so selfish, maybe she would be alive?
Lisa, the girl who was so self-confident, moved away with her family after she almost committed a suicide because she thought that it was her fault. She lost contact with all her friends back home.
Everyone are feeling guilty. They weren’t thinking at all. All they cared about was themselves. If they could turn back time, they would change what happened. Because Lily didn’t do anything to them. And because of them, Lily missed out a wonderful life she could’ve had.
___________________________
Ja kui mul on kirjavead, siis võite teada anda
Ja oleks kena, kui ütlete, mida te arvate.

. Nii suurepäraselt kirjutatud

Nii supper .
Kurb, et sellist narrimist ja kiusamist esineb igapäeva elus .
*Nüüd jookseb vaatama tõlget sõnadele, mida ei teadnud*

Mulle ka meeldis.
Ja üllatavalt lihtne oli lugeda. Muidugi mingeid sõnu pidi vaatama (kõiki ei viitsinud) aga aru sai ikka.

Jutt ise oli kurb. Selline kiusamine on ikka väga hull..

Aitäh kõigile
Sain selle kirjandi 5+ ka.
Lisaks, ma tegin ühele teisele poisile (Sass) ka selle kirjandi, aga veidi teistmoodi, sest poisid pidid veidi teist moodi tegema. Ja minu sõbranna tegi ühele teisele (Carlos), aga ta võttis kõik netist ja kopeeris.
Ja täna, õpetaja ütles: "Mulle meeldis lugeda Sassi oma, aga mulle ei meeldinud lugeda Carlose oma. See oli ju netist võetud. Kas sa ise ka said aru, millest sa kirjutasid?"

Väga hea ja väga mõtlemapanev kirjand. Koolivägivallast on minu arust keeruline kirjutada, aga sa said sellega osavalt hakkama

Paari viga märkasin ma siiski ka, tähenärija nagu ma olen. Lauses "I closed my eyes and took the last breathe" peaks olema "breath" ja lauses "Everyone are feeling guilty" peaks olema "is", sest "everybody" ja "everyone" on ainsuse sõnad, kuigi nad väljendavad mitmust

Tubli töö!

Aitäh!
Ja tänud paranduste eest ka

Mulle ka väga meeldis, pani mõtlema.