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 Last smile

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AutorTeade
Külaline
Külaline




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PostitaminePealkiri: Last smile   Last smile Icon_minitime15/8/2012, 19:33

Mõtlesin siis ka teha lühikese jutu.
Kommenteerige ja öelge, mida arvate.

She closes her eyes and thinks about her life. Why was she born in this world? Was it just to die? To just be abused as other children? To just be a toy of adults? She didn`t want it. Luna wanted something more. She wanted a life – full of happiness and laughter and friends. Could she get it? Of course no and now she has the opportunity to change it all.
Slowly, Luna opens the door to the roof. She feels wind playing with her short brown hair. Hair which used to be her treasure. Before… Before he came to her life. He ruined her! He might have thought that what he did was nothing. Of course it was nothing for him! He was a selfish adult. Just like all of them.
Lass took careful steps towards the edge of the roof. She was barefoot and she could feel the cold tiles scratching her. The pain was nothing. Compared to what she had to suffer, this was nothing.
Luna stopped at the edge and breathed everything in she could. This would be last time she saw the sun, the sky, the forest. This would be the last time she would know someone like he. Last time of everything. Luna stretched her hands out and felt them going numb from the wind.
“Luna!” someone cried out behind her.
The girl looked behind her and saw him. He had followed him. Why? Why did he make more pain to her? He had destroyed her yet somehow it wasn`t even his fault. It was hers – Luna’s fault. She had believed and trusted him. She had done everything wrong for herself yet right for him. She had fallen into his trap.
“Goodbye,” Luna whispered with a small smile.
Then she jumped. She watched the same things she had watched for so long already. Sixteen years. She knew she had lived too long. Her time had come yet Luna wasn`t scared. No. She was happy. She would be free forever. She managed to do one more thing before landing on the ground. She smiled. Her last smile.
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*Nastik.
Kärameister
*Nastik.


Female Postituste arv : 1048
Age : 27

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PostitaminePealkiri: Re: Last smile   Last smile Icon_minitime15/8/2012, 20:42

Hästi lühike. Aga eks ta ole ka lühijuttude alla paigutatud :)

Palju lahtisi otsi ja küsimusi, aga teisest küljest jällegi on see nagu salapära ja saab ise juurde mõelda... Raske on kuidagi kokku võtta, mida ma arvan. Negatiivset emotsiooni kindlasti ei jäänud, aga midagi jäi natuke nagu puudu. Võib-olla oleksin tahtnud paremini süveneda Luna loosse, või ma ei teagi...

Aga hea oli see siiski :)
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http://www.nnastik.blogspot.com
harrypotterifänn
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harrypotterifänn


Female Postituste arv : 210

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PostitaminePealkiri: Re: Last smile   Last smile Icon_minitime4/7/2013, 01:09

keegi palun tõlgiks selle?
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Everleigh
Magus maius
Everleigh


Female Postituste arv : 2033
Age : 36
Asukoht : Tallinn

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PostitaminePealkiri: Re: Last smile   Last smile Icon_minitime4/7/2013, 01:45

Sa ei ole inglise keelt õppinud veel?

Jutu kohta... pisut liiga lühike? Pean nõustuma *Nastikuga selles asjas. Midagi tundus puudu olevat.
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